Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Wonder in darkness

Silvia Tarniceru was a women inspired by wonder. In her biography by Harvey Yoder her musings from a time when she had just been moved to a drab colorless concentration camp are recounted:

"Perhaps it is because the lives of these men, these police, have no meaning," I mused. "If we have no direction for our living, we become insensitive to beauty, to attractive surroundings.[...]

"I thank God that my parents taught me to appreciate beautiful things. Even though Mama was busy with her work, she would always let us put a bouquet of wildflowers on the table.[...]

"I believe God wants us to love beauty. He made a beautiful world. The hill behind our house when I was a child held so much beauty. The deep, dark woods; the fragile wild flowers; the musical thrush; and the delicate ferns."
God Knows My Size

I hope that when hope is deferred in my life as it was for her (she had just been sent back to Romania after having escaped to Yugoslavia), I will be able to praise God and reflect on the wonders of his creation as she did on this occasion.

I didn't do it today. A small thing had been deferred, and rather than praising God, and looking at the wonders of the woods around me, I was crying out in despair.

Perhaps though, it is not a bad things. The psalms in particular are full of cryings out to God. The thing is, most of them end up with either praise, or the choice to continue to trust in God.


"Praise the Lord, I tell myself" Psalm 103:1a.

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